Groupon Planetary Flying Saucer Cruises

(Click to enlarge. There may be a delay.)

The Caribbean is dotted with getaway paradises, but the Sun shines on more than Earth. While fixing my Groupon friend’s phone in (CNN) Former Pentagon UFO official: ‘We may not be alone’ and Things to Do on Mars; Your CNN Companion, I found more pictures. She’s been doing this a while.   I’ll dribble out the pics, because I don’t want this to get sensational.

It turns out she took a cruise on the oceans of Saturn’s moon Enceladus, a tropical paradise. She was stressed out, so the crowds and pressure of a Jovian jaunt didn’t suit. A slow paced Enceledalian yacht was just the thing. When it got the minimum of ten, she was picked up by Lyft Zero Gee. The cruise by saucer was pleasant. Everybody goes first class, and there are no add-on charges. Since Martians have X-ray vision, their security lines move.

Her yacht was made of glass. You could see right through the bottom. The gossamer sails billow gently in the tropical methane. Balanced on the mast is her native guide, attired in a traditional pressure suit.

Internet is kind of slow, about 180 minutes for a round trip ping. Her hosts explained that putting a hyperspace link in each yacht is currently too pricey. So why is this jaunt sooo attractive?

People with joint problems love it. The low gees and gentle caress of the compressed methane atmosphere make it like exercising in a pool. And Enceladians have invented more varieties of shuffleboard than you can imagine. With lower gravity, and the viscous atmosphere, the pucks slide yards at the slightest touch. But there’s a big surcharge if you lose one off the boat.

Incurable romantics find the green sun against a sky the color of vintage wine irresistible. Of course, it’s not for everyone.

Whatever floats your boat, right?


(Voyage to a Green Sun. 18×24, oil on canvas.)

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